: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i've created a new STD.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
