I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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