Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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