we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i came on her dog
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
