Will you blow on my dice?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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