you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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