I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
