Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
