If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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