I wannas sexs uuuuu
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
