Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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