pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I've blown a few things in my day
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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