If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize