Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
