The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
