why didn't you poke me back
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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