Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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