hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
