Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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