dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
