I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
