Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize