I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
