Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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