piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize