they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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