That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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