I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
