so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
