You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
