This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Terrible idea I love it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize