I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
