i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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