well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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