I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
