I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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