your parents love me but you hate me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize