it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
