is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008