If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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