my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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