I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
