It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
