Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
