Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
