I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize