at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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