super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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