I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
