Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"