i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet