she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch