Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to make out with him forever
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?