2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!