a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You are a genius and a whore.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
