and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
