I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster