Texts From Last Night

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  (705): View more from Ontario

  How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.

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  (705): How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk? (1-705): I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month. http://tfl.nu/0dv4
  Replies (14) Good night (3879) Bad night (932)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  video games are the ultimate cock blocker

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  (781): video games are the ultimate cock blocker http://tfl.nu/a2qu
  Replies (42) Good night (937) Bad night (4167)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (5119) Bad night (2851)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.

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  (615): It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/pvsa
  Replies (8) Good night (1425) Bad night (1992)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....

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  (802): think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight.... http://tfl.nu/1kod
  Replies (9) Good night (1054) Bad night (1551)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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  (618): some guy just burried his vomit in the sand. http://tfl.nu/hqvi
  Replies (7) Good night (1400) Bad night (1063)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.

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  (630): Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver. http://tfl.nu/1ykf
  Replies (2) Good night (1933) Bad night (705)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.

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  (416): I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing. http://tfl.nu/fg17
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (1059)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??

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  (913): HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO?? http://tfl.nu/gz2t
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (552)
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  (714): View more from California

  She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.

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  (714): She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View. http://tfl.nu/be63
  Replies (12) Good night (1182) Bad night (2826)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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  (352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv
  Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (559)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here

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  (614): We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here http://tfl.nu/ha0m
  Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (594)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.

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  (808): It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend. http://tfl.nu/kmmx
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (543)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again

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  (602): I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again http://tfl.nu/of7p
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (329)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one

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  (918): She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one http://tfl.nu/uqwv
  Replies (1) Good night (808) Bad night (305)

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