Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.

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  (604): I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary. http://tfl.nu/udpd
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  (415): View more from California

  fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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  (415): fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/i9c0
  Replies (22) Good night (3189) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??

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  (512): my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college?? http://tfl.nu/kvis
  Replies (62) Good night (3684) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (4866) Bad night (1448) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  you should give me head with plastic fangs in

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  (618): you should give me head with plastic fangs in http://tfl.nu/ku60
  Replies (59) Good night (2156) Bad night (8582) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.

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  (603): i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't. http://tfl.nu/rtpf
  Replies (12) Good night (7433) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.

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  (806): You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito. http://tfl.nu/i4sd
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  (+79): View more from

  Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight

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  (+79): Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight http://tfl.nu/p28c
  Replies (18) Good night (4669) Bad night (1272) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere

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  (434): She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere http://tfl.nu/6t7j
  Replies (9) Good night (2959) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.

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  (765): Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100. http://tfl.nu/hfgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1405) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

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  (312): Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees. http://tfl.nu/fk9m
  Replies (5) Good night (2344) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets

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  (734): I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/shph
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.

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  (570): My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think. http://tfl.nu/k90n
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  (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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  (518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl
  Replies (8) Good night (737) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.

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  (906): Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied. http://tfl.nu/iln6
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt

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