we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
