he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
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dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.