Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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(817): View more from Texas

getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

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(810): View more from Michigan

She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

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(214): View more from Texas

My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.

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(571): View more from Virginia

i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus

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