also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?