Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

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  (405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz
  Replies (30) Good night (872) Bad night (3305)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.

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  (404): she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating. http://tfl.nu/jrr4
  Replies (34) Good night (5890) Bad night (724)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Eco-friendly.

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  (515): I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly? (1-515): Eco-friendly. http://tfl.nu/yssm
  Replies (29) Good night (2365) Bad night (4834)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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  (562): I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight. http://tfl.nu/kfwj
  Replies (9) Good night (5236) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.

  (-1816): View more from

  Probably is probably an understatement.

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  (816): It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister. (-1816): Probably is probably an understatement. http://tfl.nu/hxbu
  Replies (9) Good night (2517) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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  (785): She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/2hle
  Replies (4) Good night (2609) Bad night (649)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1239) Bad night (1215)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen

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  (734): i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen http://tfl.nu/gv17
  Replies (12) Good night (1631) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's like the whiskey god was watching over you

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  (949): I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id. (702): It's like the whiskey god was watching over you http://tfl.nu/wgp4
  Replies (7) Good night (3393) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS

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  (541): THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS http://tfl.nu/c3uu
  Replies (15) Good night (2342) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.

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  (515): He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head. http://tfl.nu/6i8v
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.

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  (909): If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3. http://tfl.nu/6vn1
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder

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  (214): Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder http://tfl.nu/tsd5
  Replies (1) Good night (268) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor

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  (609): I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor http://tfl.nu/zg4s
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  On the bright side I still got laid

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  (920): You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster.. (1-920): On the bright side I still got laid http://tfl.nu/wjnz
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (356)

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