Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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