WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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