Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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