You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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