Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
