Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
