well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
