I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
