apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
